Spooky season came early
A list of the things that scared me, for better or worse, as we creep into Fall
It’s only September, but it’s also already the end of September. This year has felt endless and also too close to ending. Pumpkin spice made it back to Starbucks last month but it’s still a record hot summer. My daughter can’t stop thinking about Halloween but we’re still over here wearing tank tops.
In other words, tis the season of not knowing what season it is. There’s something in the air—maybe it’s fog or maybe it’s forest fire smoke—but it makes me want to curl up under blankets and drink a chai…even if the chill is coming from inside the house (it’s the AC).
Maybe it’s the slow dredge of a political campaign season I’m viscerally sick of. Maybe it’s the looming one year anniversary of a heinous campaign against Gaza that has radicalized me to the carelessness of our leaders as we continued to pour billions into it and our continued platforming of Netanyahu. All to say there’s plenty keeping me up at night—Diddy’s extensive crimes, JoJo being jealous of Selena Gomez—but maybe there’s a better way to get your spooky fix as we head into Fall.
Here are the tricks and treats of the season already, guaranteed to give you the creepy crawlies…for better or for worse.
TRICK: Chappell Roan being called a republican/fake lesbian for saying dems aren’t great
There’s nothing more terrifying than the death of critical thinking. And when it’s at the cost of my favorite pop girlie? Consider my pearls clutched. Super Graphic Ultra Modern Girl Chappell Roan had an interview this week where she was asked who she endorsed for president. In response, she said, “I have so many issues with our government in every way... There are so many things that I would want to change. So I don't feel pressured to endorse someone. There's problems on both sides.” And honestly babe? I agree. But for the past week across social, she’s been accused of being a sleeper Trumper, an uninformed kid, and a threat to democracy.
Never mind that this is the woman who refused to perform at the White House for Pride on principal; never mind that she’s raised funds for Gaza; never mind that she’s consistently used her burgeoning fame to platform and support the LGBTQ+ community. One quote taken out of context and suddenly people are rage baited into believing she’s not informed.
Democracy, if we need reminded, is not about party lines. It’s about the people’s vote and voice. We should be critical of our party if it’s no longer representing us. It’s no better than MAGA mania if we demand blind loyalty above meaningful dialogue. BUT EVEN BEYOND THAT we cannot dilute people to one quote.
She’s had to make not one but two clarifying TikTok’s to say no she’s not a republican and yes she’ll be voting for Kamala but also that doesn’t mean she’s offering her endorsement. And honestly I didn’t think anything could make me love her more but my heart grew two sizes that day.
Too bad she’s now canceling performances because she’s overwhelmed and anxious and needs to prioritize her mental health. As another pop girlie (whose vote I did question) said it, this is why we can’t have nice things.
TREAT: Interview with the Vampire streaming on Netflix
I’m late to the AMC television series (first premiered in 2022) but its first season was added to Netflix recently and I’ve been — ahem — drinking it up. Perfect casting, a compelling frame story, absolutely unhinged horniness, all (mainly) taking place in early 20th century New Orleans. Well, I do declare this is a yes from me. I’ve heard mixed things on S2 (namely the recasting of the delightfully unhinged Bailey Bass) but I’ll spare judgement…until I can find a way to stream it.
TRICK: Uglies finally coming out
For nearly two decades, I’d probably cite Uglies as the first YA series I loved. Written by Scott Westerfeld, it’s your trope-laden dystopian that came out before the genre ever really took off. Rereading it a few years ago, sure, the logic and the politics and the gender discourse of it all wasn’t great, but it was nostalgic and fun—the grandfather to a genre that has since seen better and worse.
Also for the last two decades, I’ve been waiting for a movie version to come out. But, turns out, some things aren’t worth waiting for. This adaption isn’t terrible, but in some ways it also is. People who haven’t read the book will not be wooed by it; people who have will not be satisfied. Joey King is a good Tally. Keith Powers is far too pretty. And the Pretties are not freakish enough. The movie was caught in developmental hell for the past four years and Netflix tried to bury it with zero promotion, but the critics still caught wind and decimated it with a 15% on Rotten Tomatoes (much worse childhood adaption Ender’s Game has 63%). Is that a bit harsh? Maybe, but also maybe not?
TREAT: Katy Perry’s new album being an absolute flop
In another life, I would have welcomed a new Katy Perry album. But in this life, once she sidled back up to alleged rapist and abuser Dr. Luke, churning out borderline-offensive feminist jingle “WOMAN’S WORLD,” I’m mostly happy to see her album 143 make absolutely no impact.
This is her second attempt at a comeback (Witness and the weirdest live stream ever didn’t pan out the way she hoped) and all it shows is how little she’s grown in her time away spent “growing.” This new sound is really her old sound but it’s just a boring sound with nothing new to say. Unlike Adele processing adulthood or Taylor Swift playing with genres, Katy thinks being famous in the past is enough reason for her to be famous again. So she’s loud on a podcast and she’s oversharing about her sex life and she’s scissoring to the straightest song alive to prove she’s weird but even Taylor Swift calls bullshit. Sorry Katy cat, I’m a no.
TRICK: The Bachelor franchise and its screening process
The entire finale of Jenn Tran’s season of The Bachelorette was trash. It was cruelty thinly disguised as empowerment and you can’t convince me them throwing her on Dancing with the Stars last minute wasn’t their attempt at damage control. It was almost painful watching Jenn try to spin it as something she wanted (when she literally begged “do I have a choice” live on air).
BUT THEN.
Men caught another L when “winner” Devin Strader thought the best way to clear his name as a bad boyfriend and unavailable fiancé was to release alllllllll their text messages. Literally. He screen-recorded the text chain of their entire six month relationship and posted it online because somewhere along the road to b-list fame he somehow found the gall and the audacity to think any idea floating through his little pea-sized brain was a good one.
“See, I did try.” “Can’t you see I was the victim of a needy girlfriend?” “See, I was there for her.”
But you shared sexts, you texted that you felt emasculated by the mere idea of taking her last name—you shared everything and that means you win dumpster boyfriend title forever.
BUT THEN.
It came out that Devin had had a restraining order against him in 2017. He was also previously arrested for allegedly trespassing into his ex's apartment, a filing that was in the public record. The petition filed by said ex recounts harrowing details including that he “spit on me and threw his drink on me at Pelicans game in front of everyone in the crowd [and]…put me in a chokehold covering my mouth.” And IDK I just think a show aimed at making love matches has a responsibility to make sure those don’t feature abusers with any sort of record.
So now not only have we hung Jenn Tran, the franchise’s first Asian lead, out to dry, we’ve also retraumatized his ex with all this coming out. And the Bachelor franchise saying “whoops”1 with no promise to change their screening practices has traumatized every woman going on the show.
So after an on-again-off-again relationship, I am officially done with the franchise. I will not be wooed back by sad widows on The Golden Bachelorette. I will not be showing up in solidarity for a Black bachelor (especially given the harm they’d consistently done to their POC leads). They have moved from dumpster fire brain candy to truly cruel and irresponsible trauma baiters. Fool me once, shame on you; fool me….this many times, probably time to find a new show.
TREAT: How to Have Sex
I watched this coming-of-age movie on a plane and so of course I ended up weeping alone. Starring relative unknown Mia McKenna-Bruce and written and directed by newcomer Molly Manning Walker and inspiring this memeable moment with Prince William, it has been on my radar since its release on the festival circuit last year.
To his credit, it was excellent at portraying the fun of young adulthood and the bright-eyed hopes and dreams of a future that feels far away. It tackles female friendship, coming-of-age, and sexual consent in sobering and devastating ways. McKenna-Bruce is amazing as its star and deserves all the praise leveled at her already. The directing was effervescent and its ambiguous lens both gut-wrenching and relatable. I can’t recommend it enough, if only for the final scene as she gets the courage to admit maybe consent even in a sex-filled culture is more straightforward than she thinks.
TRICK: The Southern Book Club's Guide to Slaying Vampires by Grady Hendrix
I’m not always a horror fan, or a comedy-horror fan. But I’d heard good things about this audiobook specifically so I threw it on. The first third, a great delight. Real creepy, really living up to the titular promise. I mean, there’s a scene with rats that I’ll just…never forget.
Unfortunately, Grady really starts to drop the ball in the second part…and the slog to the final act. It’s my fault for not realizing Grady is, in fact, a straight, white, male author. A triple threat making my least favorite person to write a story like this (POV of women, tackling gender and race in equal measure, featuring sexual abuse and child grooming).
He bamboozles us very quickly because the book club is not united in its belief of vampires and in fact there is one (1) single vampire the entire book. There is far too much dedicated to the home-making qualities of these women and not nearly enough burning-the-patriarchy-down activities. The horror was gross (flattering) but the gender/race issues were clunky at best. I for one don’t think child sexual assault and a playful tone about how well homemaker’s can clean up blood really pairs well together here. Especially 400 pages of it.
TREAT: The God of the Woods by Liz Moore
This newly released novel doesn’t need me to endorse it; after all, it already made Obama’s list. But if you’re looking for a light thriller or a campfire-style cozy mystery, this is the one. Moore is an excellent writer able to manage the multiple narrators and time jumps with ease and style. She deftly weaves a family drama, a sociopolitical look at the haves and have nots, and the gender construct all while at an Adirondack summer camp in the 1970s.
A teen girl goes missing from the camp mirroring the disappearance of her brother over a decade before. Secrets across the privileged Van Laar family and the blue-collar community working under them start to come out while campers, detectives, and serial killers all become suspects. The ending is twisty but she makes sure to prioritize people rather than plot, making the psychological thriller more satisfying than exploitative. It might take place at a summer camp, but this felt like the perfect transition novel into real spooky season.
There you have it: my September read/watch/rant list. But there’s another whole month of the spooky season so tell me what to tackle next (my cold, dead heart loves a good chill).
Haven’t read it yet but I like it already. Excited to dig in, thanks for keeping me up to date.