Is the itch for a summer break biological or am I just holding onto the childhood whimsy of summer meaning no work, no school, no responsibility? Because it feels like I have a case of senioritus and I’m just waiting for summer—as if that means anything for me as a woman with a full-time job.
I wish I could hear a bell ring and know I was free from the exhausting ~whatever~ of late stage capitalism. Yes I get vacation days and yes I use them and yes I have a nice trip planned. But still the 9-5 beckons. It threatens. It looms.
This isn’t to say I don’t enjoy my job (for the most part). I just think society at large would benefit from a guaranteed month (or two) off to let our minds drift and our creative juices flow. If kids need a summer break, don’t the world-weary among us need it too?
In any case, I find myself feeling antsy as the weather warms and the graduation caps are paraded across social media. Nostalgic, maybe, for a life of clear-cut milestones and next steps. As Bilbo once put it, I feel like butter spread over too much bread. And maybe it’s a universal feeling because all the movies and books I’ve consumed this month reek of dissatisfaction.
Consider this my food-bloggers-sized diatribe before getting to the main course as I share with you a list of all the things I’ve been enduring enjoying.
Am I OK?
Streaming on Max
This movie technically premiered two years ago, but it just found a distributor in Max and is finally available to us plebs. Dakota Johnson stars as a 32-year-old woman coming to terms with her sexuality late in life. Sonoya Mizuno (Crazy Rich Asians) plays her best friend and Molly Gordan (Theater Camp) is there too. They’re both frustrating characters and the tension sometimes seems manufactured, but any movie about female friendship is an instant watch for me. I want Sonoya’s bob. I want either of their LA apartments they somehow afford on their nondescript jobs.
Still, the heart of this movie is frustration, it’s stuckness, it’s the general soulcrushingness of choices you’re not even sure you care to make anymore. It’s about the growing pains of growing up, even when that starts later in life. It was a good time.
Hit Man
Streaming on Netflix
Another movie new to streaming (though it premiered at a festival last year). This has gotten rave reviews and, as a Glenn Powell apologist, I was excited to watch it. Imagine my surprise when I didn’t like it at all.
This movie doesn’t know what it wants to be. Some want to call it “deceptively dark” but I don’t know if it does a good job of setting its stars up as antiheroes. It wants to be philosophical about the flexibility of ones “self” but this really just sees a pretty boy realize that lying does, in fact, get him what he wants and what he wants is more important than any sort of societal agreement. It dances around policing, the legal system, dark comedy, love…but it never really has anything interesting or even that funny to say. Maybe it says something about me that a movie touted as pure fun and sex appeal can leave me feeling so dead inside. Or maybe it’s the ACAB in me, my frustration with thinly drawn women, the predictability of a man’s idea of right vs. wrong only being complicated when a beautiful woman flounces in. Whatever the reason, I just think this was a candy-coated dud. I could rant about it for an hour—and I will, on a new podcast episode out this week.
Queenie
Streaming on Hulu
A book I liked that I knew would make a great visual story and here it is as a Hulu original series. The cast is so good and so funny. Our titular Queenie is not always likeable and her choices range from frustrating to questionable, but there’s a heart to it that feels forever relatable (similar to Fleabag). It’s all about the tension of a quarter-life crisis, finding purpose and meaning and self, all while juggling friends and family and romance. So while I cannot literally relate, emotionally…we’re all sort of there.
We’re Here
Streaming on Max
This playful and heartfelt series that sees drag queens going to small towns in America to put on a show and support the queer communities there came back with a new season and new cast this year. I loved the first few seasons which saw Bob the Drag Queen, Eureka O’Hara, and Shangela bring their wit and charm and good looks to places like Idaho and St. George, proving love is love is The Greatest Showman. Unfortunately, Season 4 sets a different tone. Because America is a hellscape for queer and transgender rights these days.
The hope of earlier seasons gets a splash of cold water as they open in Tennessee directly after the drag show bans. Queens Priyanka, Sasha Velour, and Jaida Essence Hall lead the season through more extended episodes digging into the politics of the place. I’m happy to see them put their title to work in proclaiming loudly that LGBTQ+ people are here and they deserve love and safe spaces and joy. I cannot believe the hate and the ignorance and the fear and the obsession that guides people to feel this strongly about people looking this good.
So while the season starts on a bit of a downer, I challenge everyone to watch it. One, to show support for queer art. Two, because it’s a good reminder to sit in the reality of what hate this country is catering to. Three, because happy pride month!
Real Americans
Novel by Rachel Khong
I didn’t expect this intergenerational family saga to end up being so much about…genetics. A NYT bestseller by Chinese American author Rachel Khong, there are some layers of science fiction or magical realism, but at it’s heart it is a character study of family and identity and destiny. Split into three parts with time jumps between each, it’s easy to feel like the books end right when it’s getting good. But that hedging pays off generally. Each of the characters are distinct and interesting, their struggles around growing up and growing out—of funks, of fears, of delusions—is very engrossing. I didn’t love it…but I also haven’t stopped thinking about it.
Habitations
Novel by Sheila Sundar
Another 2024 release that felt unsure of exactly where it wanted to go—just like its narrator felt unsure of what she wanted/needed/deserved in life. Here a young academic moves from India and spends the rest of her life wondering if she made the right choice. There’s queer love, a green card marriage, motherhood, identity, desire, community. I like the pieces, but the whole was less than satisfying.
Ghost Season
Novel by Fatin Abbas
Prior to this year, I knew nothing about Sudan or its conflicts. As I’ve seen more in the news about their humanitarian crises I’ve turned, as I often do, to books. This debut novel came out last year and follows five interconnected characters in the crosshairs of a growing conflict on the Sudanese border. Abbas writes with profound heart and empathy as she explores national, ethnic, and religious borders and biases with her characters struggling around identity and the ethics of art and humanitarian aid. It’s a slow burn but a beautiful character study.
The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes
Novel by Suzanne Collins
I still don’t know what this book is actually called. It’s a terrible name. But I’ve come around to it actually being a not-terrible book. The Hunger Games has become my comfort watch/read in recent years (read into that how you will) and with the announcement of a new book coming out next year I found myself wanting to revisit the original prequel which I originally hated. And I have to say…my apologies to Suzanne Collins. She continues to be one of the writers I identify with most in how she connects our current horrors to a space that never sacrifices itself for entertainment. While the audience can blur those lines a bit, she has such a respect for the seriousness of this premise. And it’s clear she’s intentional in what she wants to say and how she wants to say it.
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Bridgerton Season 1 and 2
Streaming on Netflix
You know I must be going through it™ when I only want to rewatch old stuff. But joke’s on me because watching these again only emphasizes how bad the third season actually is. (No hate to the actors, and hopefully the second half will redeem some of it.) But for all their problems (namely issues of consent and any Benedict storyline) these first seasons had an impressive attention to detail in the costuming and characters. I mean, there’s not a lady’s maid in sight in S3! Everyone’s split up and the family never has their moments together. And the romance—my apologies to Nicola who is forever my girl—just isn’t giving sexual tension the same way the duke and the viscount were serving in their respective seasons. So while I enjoyed the rewatch, it definitely took the wind out of S3’s sails—or should I say hot air balloon1?
In any case, I want to give honorable mention to Shogun2 (Hulu), one of the best shows of my adulthood, and Fallout3 (Prime) which was surprisingly a lot of fun. Also I’d be remiss not to tell you all how much I adore the new song “Please Please Please” by Sabrina Carpenter. And two of my favorite films from last year are officially on streaming, so check out Godzilla Minus One on Netflix and Origin on Hulu, two very good, vastly different movies about picking up the pieces as the world falls apart around you.
That’s it, folks. What are you watching? What’s sparking joy for you? And what are the required steps for taking a sabbatical? Just…asking for a friend.
P.S. I want to end with a caveat that this is all window dressing. I know any sense of dissatisfaction I may feel is mainly because the world is sad. The ongoing crises in Gaza, Sudan, the Congo4 are disturbing and sad. The environmental catastrophes across the globe are unsettling and unrelenting. Please remember, as you take time for yourself, to also take time to process the news—especially around the US involvement in Gaza—and demand a more equitable society for all.
This scene gives me the ick on a whole other level and I’ll never forgive them for making *this* the supposed thirst trap of the season.
This ended in April but I’m still not over it.
I had absolutely zero context for this video-game-inspired show, but I was sucked in after the first episode.
Speaking of essential books, Cobalt Red: How the Blood of the Congo Powers Our Lives by Siddharth Kara is revelatory (and sort of soul crushing).
Didn’t like Hit Man? Well shoot. I see your points but at the time I was just caught up in the chemistry. I did NOT like the ending.